There have been times when I wasn’t sure what I was gonna do with my life. I still face that sometimes. That uncertainty of “is this right for me?”. It’s incredibly confusing and can leave you feeling depressed. I know because I recently went through this. I felt like I didn’t know what I was gonna do. Like I had no goals or anything to look forward to.
I’m an avid planner. Having plans gives me something to look forward to. Something I can obsessively think about to keep my mind distracted. Last year, I began practicing being present as part of my journey to mindfulness. This can pose I problem for a dreamer such as myself but rewarding in most parts. Last month, I just woke up one day and I thought “what am I going to do with my life? Where am I going to live? I plan to leave Jamaica but where am I gonna go? What am I gonna do (other than blog) when I get there? ”
I had no place in mind, didn’t know where I was heading. Nothing researched or to hope for and then it happened. I hit a snag in the road and felt like such a failure. I had no goals rather than getting through the day. I searched “When you have no career aspirations” in google because I thought I had no ambition that I was working towards and I felt like something was wrong with me. While reading through forums and blogs, I realized that I was freaking out and for no reason.
Finding your passion and doing it
Society dictates that we should find our passion and pursue it until we get to our goals. That’s fine but can be confusing if you don’t have that one thing you’re passionate about. Or have multiple passions and don’t know if you want to pursue any of them either. I covered a bit of that in a recent post. I’ve learnt that it’s ok to go you’re own way instead of what is expected from us.
The important thing is to give yourself time. Time to think, experience, learn and grow. Life is the best teacher, time isn’t the enemy. It’s a reminder of how far we’ve come, how much we’ve wasted and/ done and best of all, how little we have left. Keeping all of this in mind has help me to mentally pare down to the essentials. To spend time thinking about and finding things that interests, excites and fascinates me.
Only then did I find that there is something else that I want to do. I just needed the time to allow myself to reflect and find my way to it… but in a whole other way!
It sometimes finds us
I was watching youtube when it hit me. I started brainstorming and remembered that I thought of something similar to this when I was 16 years old. Of course then, I was never really interested or didn’t know I was. So in a way, it found me. That’s how it goes, a little thing can lead you to something bigger that you fall in love with.
When you’re not thinking, it sometimes finds you and it can happen at anytime. When I stopped forcing and continued living my life, it came to me. I won’t say what mine is (just yet) but whatever that “it” is, it can find you when you least expect it.
It’s ok to not know…
If you find that you don’t really have a set dream that you’re working towards. That you simply want to work, earn and live your life then I think that’s fine. Society today is all about being success and famous. I’ve always preferred a simple life. A life with the things and people I love. That’s what I’ve always hoped for and continue to.
If being what is called “ordinary” is comforting and makes you happy then that’s amazing. Being happy is far more important than anything else. In this consumerist world, finding that long term happiness beats short term pleasure is truly an amazing discovery. I only hope that most people, no matter what path they find remembers this.
I believe everyone is extraordinary. The reason, well… all of us are different. We’re individuals, there’s only one of us and that’s special. Some of us have high profile dreams, some more eclectic while other are simple. Whatever path you find is YOURS. Embracing it is like you’re accepting yourself and celebrating it.
So embrace yourself… what do you have to lose anyways?